Dreamberry Pie

A long, long time ago --
I can still remember when I 
First gave Elfquest half a look
And I knew if I read just one
I'd be hooked when I was done
And then I'd have to buy the color book
But Trolls and humans made me nauseous
I wiched that Cutter'd be more cautious
Bad news from the Gliders
They couldn't stand Wolfriders
I can't remember if I choked
When I heard Lord Voll and One-Eye croaked
But something in my heart was poked
When issue twenty broke.
So --

CHORUS:
  Bonjour, Sorrow's End is a bore
  Packed my valise for the Palace
  And go caught in a war
  The Go-Backs there were killin Trolls by the score
  Singin' "This is all she wrote and no more,
  "This is all she wrote and no more."

Did you start with issue one
Or did you grab eighteen on the run
When you had some cash to burn?
Now did you believe that Rayek died
That in the sun his brains were fried
Or did you harbor hopes that he'd return?
Well I knew that he was still alive
'Cause I saw him grin in issue five
He went north with Ekuar
But they didn't get very far
He was a wand'ring Elf with no lovemate
Till he met the Go-Backs on this Kahvi break
But he claimed his piece of real estate
When issue twenty broke.

-CHORUS-

Now for eight years we've been sorely vexed
Secon-guessing what would happen next
As if each panel held a sign
Like when Winnowill was acting mean
Due to certain facts as yet unseen
While Tyldak stood and waffled on the sidelines
He and Petalwing went off to play
While Dewshine's headache went away
The outcome was forgone
They simply had to spawn
So while the waiting grew from short to long
I tried to write this trupid song
And we found all our guesses wrong
When issue twenty broke.
We were singin' --

-CHORUS-

Like a cheetah or a big mosquita
The zwoot ran off with the cubs and Leetah
Straight for the Forbidden Grove
And cumped them all when it got bored
The Preservers waited till they snored
And then wrapped them in the webbing that they wove
Now Cutter wasn't keen on this
To put it mildly, he was pissed
It took five iddues more
For us to find out what they were for
And though Lord Voll said that he'd been hosed
Then he took the challenge the Preserver posed
Who could dispute what was disclosed
When issue twenty broke?
He was singin --

-CHORUS-

The High Ones they were all out in space
They picked a lousy parking place
With no chance for a jump-start now
So c'mon High One Timmain, Timmain slight
Timmain became a wolf one night
And the next day she was buying puppy chow
And as King Guttlekraw found out
Elves with wolf blood carry clout
This wasn't news of course
By the time we met its source
Because while Suntop tried for a "wolf-send"
And One-Eye's body practiced Zen
We saw Timmain shape-change back again
When issue twenty broke.
She was singin' --

-CHORUS-

I met a Troll with pointed ears
And I asked him why he always leers
But he just grinned and shut the door
I went north to the Go-Backs' lair
'Cause they used to have great dances there
But they lost their only drummer in the war
And in Sun Village there was mirth
Rainsong howled and then gave birth
But Savah was distracted
The flashback was protracted
And the Pinis, looking rather drawn
From Poughkeepsie they were gone
They caught the plane to L.A. Con
When issue twenty broke.
And they were singin' --

-CHORUS-

Until the sequel --

-CHORUS-