Hotel San Francisco [Grande]

                      
                                    
dm                       A
On the Gila Bend Highway, warm pop in my mouth;
C                         G
Cool thunder and lightning rolling up from the south.
Bb                      F
Up ahead in the distance I couldn't see any light;
gm                              A
I grabbed my map for Coppercon - it said to turn to the right.

There she stood in the doorway; I heard the filking band.
I was thinking to myself, "This could be heaven or Casa Grande."
Then she lit up her flashlight, and she showed me the way;
We passed the Dark Ones in the corridors - 
                      thought I heard them say:

Chorus:
Bb                            F
Welcome to the Hotel San Francisco;
        A                  dm
Such a lovely con, such a lovely con.
  Bb                                 F
Plenty of room at the Hotel San Francisco
        gm                         A
If you like the floor next to the bathroom door.

She's got the Babylon Fivers, she's got the Trek Next Gen,
She's got no power in the restaurant, and it's packed with fen
Now the dance in the ballcourt is cancelled for the night
Some dance in the art show, 'cause the art show's got light.

So I called up the Captain, I said "please make it so"
He said, "We haven't had a warp breech here 
                     since the Giants let us go."
And still those golfers are out on the putting green
Wander in in the middle of the night just to buy sunscreen.

Chorus:
Welcome to the Hotel San Francisco;
Such a lovely con, such a lovely con.
Looking in vain for the Hotel San Francisco
At this time of year, who could find us here?

Candles in the Con Suite, bathtub filled with ice;
And she said, "Who'd have thought you'd need 
                electric power to flush that device?
In the hotel lobby, the elevator's down too.
They stab the button twenty times, 
               'cause they just can't buy a clue.

Next thing I remember, it had gone beyond the pale;
I had to climb the outdoor stairs in a hurricane-force gale.
"Relax", said the night clerk, "we are pro-fan, it's okay;
"You can check out any time you like - see you all next May!"