Jo Grant in Bondage

E
The call comes in at a quarter to ten

He's sayin' "I can't believe it's pledge week again.
      B
"That means another month of no Doctor Who,
     E
"And that's the very reason that I'm callin' you
          A
"'Cause I know you've got ev'ry single episode on tape;
E
"Dammit, it's the holidays, I need my escape."

E
Well what do you say to a fan in distress

Except "Come on over, you don't have to confess.
      B
"It's true I've got what you want on vid;
E
"Borrow what you like."  You know that's what he did.
         A
But he's got a guilty secret that he's hiding from me;

He says that it's Pertwee, but he just wants to see:

E  B        A
Jo Grant in bondage;
   E          B            A
He just can't wait for the villain to show up and get
E  B        A
Jo Grant in bondage;
     E            B           A
He's hittin' fast forward and then slow mo, becoming
E   B     A
All too familiar
         E             B               A
With her lines and her screams and her trips and her falls.

She hasn't got a boyfriend and she hasn't got a clue,
                                             E B A
But watchin' her on t.v. is gonna have to do.

Now I'm not one to preach and I'm not one to judge,
I'm not one to wink and I'm not one to nudge.
If you're two consenting adults you can do it;
But that doesn't mean I've got to sit and listen to it.
If you've got to tell one person at least
Then walk down to the church and talk to your priest about:
Jo Grant in bondage;
He just can't wait for the villain to show up and get
Jo Grant in bondage;
He's hittin' fast forward and then slow mo, becoming
All too familiar
With her lines and her screams and her trips and her falls.
She hasn't got a boyfriend and she hasn't got a clue,
But watchin' her on t.v. is gonna have to do.

Jo Grant in bondage;
He just can't wait for the villain to show up and get
Jo Grant in bondage;
He's hangin' on pause till the circuitry glows, becoming
All too familiar
That her brain and her eyes and her ankles aren't strong.
She hasn't got a boyfriend and she hasn't got a clue,
Watching her on t.v. is gonna have to do,
But my copy of The Daemons-- it's no joke;
Why did he have to play it till the damn tape broke?

(Hasn't got a boyfriend and she hasn't got a clue,
 Watching her on t.v. is gonna have to do, etc.)