The Knights Who Say "Ni!"

     E         G           D        B
Our forest is veiled in a misty verdure
     E            C           A          B
And riddled with perils to thwart the impure
        E                      G
Yet we gaze in dismay on this ludicrous pair
         D                   B
As the clopping of coconut shells fills the air
       E          A              D         B
Stiff-legged he prances straight into our lair
      E           D               E
Right up to the Knights Who Say "Ni!"

CHORUS:
      E           D               E   A
     We are the Knights Who Say "Ni!"
                    G           B
     Collectors of fine shrubbery
          E           C          D           B
     Our helmets are silly, our herring is fresh
          E           D               E
     For we are the Knights Who Say "Ni!"

Now this is no peasant; he knows how to scrub
Knows witches are ducks; recognizes a shrub
In bearing and speech he seems rather a twit
But he must be a King; he's not covered with shit
But what if this King were to say the word... "it"?
"Sod off!" cry the Knights Who Say "Ni!"

CHORUS:
     We are the Knights Who Say "Ni!"
     Collectors of fine shrubbery
     Our voices are squeaky, our codpieces pinch
     For we are the Knights Who Say "Ni!"

Now this is a curse, therefore from it we quail
And here comes Sir Robin demanding a Grail
Should we turn our tails now and meekly give in
Once more let the knights of the Round Table win?
We've done it before, we can do it again!
"Why not?" say the Knights Who Say "Ni!"

CHORUS:
     We were the Knights Who Said "Ni!"
     Collectors of fine shrubbery
     Our name in unblemished - it's also unsung -
     For we are the Knights Who Say "Ecky-ecky-ecky-p'TANG-zow."